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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2003 : Judge's Comments

Comments from the Judge of the 2003 Wergle Flomp Poetry Contest

What makes a poem so bad it's good? This is the question that I, channeling the spirit of Wergle Flomp, had to answer. Hilarious awfulness comes in many shapes and sizes, like the stars of Ms. Howard's first-prize poem. "An Ode to Buns" displayed imagination, attention to craft, and one indelibly silly image after another. I laughed every time I read it. What that says about me, I don't know.

One hallmark of bad verse is a tone-deaf mismatch between style and subject matter. Flowery metaphors, rhyming couplets, intonations of Deep Meaning are hitched to french fries and farts. (In my mind, I kept hearing "Bad Fry" being read by Homer Simpson.) Poems such as "Bolox" and "The Most Exquisite Corpse" wickedly mimic the self-important obscurity and angst of some contemporary experimental poetry. This year's honorees also include a T.S. Eliot parody ("The Worst Lamb").

Our 704 entrants submitted every variety of gibberish, doggerel, and satire, many of them concerning the treachery of vanity contests. Some advice for future contestants:
Pedophilia is not funny. Poop can be funny, but it's not as funny as you think it is. While I'm not against sex and profanity in a poem, it often functions as a cheap substitute for wit. Writing pure nonsense that's also funny is surprisingly challenging. Many of the nonsense entries seemed hastily dashed off, without the rhythm and scansion that make Wergle's "Flubblebop" stand out. What I was looking for was some degree of poetic talent, employed in the service of an utterly unworthy aim.

Thanks again to all our entrants. You are the brave gadflies on the bloated buns of Poetry.com. Yim yam widdley woooo!

Jendi Reiter

Jendi Reiter                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Wergle Flomp Poetry Contest
2012 Wergle Flomp Results

Congratulations to our 2012 winners Judith Sanders, Gerald Cooperman and Alice Owens Johnson, and our 12 honorable mentions and 15 finalists.

First Prize - $1,500
Judith Sanders
Shoppin' Spree

Second Prize - $800

Gerald Cooperman
Shoat Changed

Third Prize - $400
Alice Owens Johnson
Piggly Wiggly Goes to the Funeral Home

Honorable Mentions - $75 each
Luke Archer
Ryan Bradley
Melanie Branton
Jack Conway
Elisabeth Dahl
Kathryn Ferrugia
Wayne Lee
Paul Manchester
Leah Mueller
David Stokes
Raadhika Vishvesh
Melissa Woodworth

Finalists
Brittany Alward
Mary Bast
Emery L. Campbell
Anwesha Chattopadhyay
Angela Cichosz
Carole Davis
Duane Dodson
C.L. Holland
Kathryn Kauffman
Nathan Kross
Rachael Kuintzle
Mary McLean
Phatt Panda
Nancy Rapchak
Beth Spencer




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