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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2003 : Judge's Comments

Comments from the Judge of the 2003 Wergle Flomp Poetry Contest

What makes a poem so bad it's good? This is the question that I, channeling the spirit of Wergle Flomp, had to answer. Hilarious awfulness comes in many shapes and sizes, like the stars of Ms. Howard's first-prize poem. "An Ode to Buns" displayed imagination, attention to craft, and one indelibly silly image after another. I laughed every time I read it. What that says about me, I don't know.

One hallmark of bad verse is a tone-deaf mismatch between style and subject matter. Flowery metaphors, rhyming couplets, intonations of Deep Meaning are hitched to french fries and farts. (In my mind, I kept hearing "Bad Fry" being read by Homer Simpson.) Poems such as "Bolox" and "The Most Exquisite Corpse" wickedly mimic the self-important obscurity and angst of some contemporary experimental poetry. This year's honorees also include a T.S. Eliot parody ("The Worst Lamb").

Our 704 entrants submitted every variety of gibberish, doggerel, and satire, many of them concerning the treachery of vanity contests. Some advice for future contestants:
Pedophilia is not funny. Poop can be funny, but it's not as funny as you think it is. While I'm not against sex and profanity in a poem, it often functions as a cheap substitute for wit. Writing pure nonsense that's also funny is surprisingly challenging. Many of the nonsense entries seemed hastily dashed off, without the rhythm and scansion that make Wergle's "Flubblebop" stand out. What I was looking for was some degree of poetic talent, employed in the service of an utterly unworthy aim.

Thanks again to all our entrants. You are the brave gadflies on the bloated buns of Poetry.com. Yim yam widdley woooo!

Jendi Reiter

Jendi Reiter                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

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Wergle Flomp Poetry Contest
2009 Wergle Flomp Results

Congratulations to our 2009 winners "Randy Cousteau", Louis K. Lowy and Lenny Lianne, and our 12 honorable mentions and 12 finalists.

First Prize - $1,359
"Randy Cousteau"
The Felching of the Oct'pus

Second Prize - $764

Louis K. Lowy
Poetry Workshop (Mary had a little lamb)

Third Prize - $338
Lenny Lianne
Hurl

Honorable Mentions - $72.95 each
Janette Berry
Paul Hlava
Johnson John
Benjamin Taylor Lally
M.S. Sukumaran Nair
Rachel S. Neal
John Poch
Lisa Rigdon
Debra Shulkes
Fara Spence
Tammy Tillotson
James K. Zimmerman

Finalists
H.L. Bessinger
Kenzo Kon Dedaņ-Duozhu
Sarah Evans
Lamar Hedgepeth
Tim Kimbirk
Todd Lee
Barbara Lefcowitz
John McKernan
Jesse Nieboer
Jim O'Brien
Senyo Whyte
Graham Younger




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