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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2004 : Judge's Comments

Comments from the Judge of the 2004 Wergle Flomp Poetry Contest

Thanks to everyone who entered our 2004 Wergle Flomp Poetry Contest. We received a record 975 entries, each more disturbing than the last. This year's winner, "The Craven" by Chris Kuehn, displayed all the qualities we look for in a Wergle poem: a high level of poetic craftsmanship, a manic glee in exploring the possibilities of language, and a hilarious mismatch between lofty style and base subject matter. It is also, sad to say, utterly filthy.

By now, you may have developed some misconceptions about this contest. Here at Winning Writers, we are committed to the highest poetic ideals. We are not just interested in sex and butt jokes. We want sex and butt jokes that have rhyme and meter. Scansion, maybe a few metaphors, synecdoche, anaphora, polysorbate 80 — these impress us. In short, technical merit.

Humorous poetry is no exception to the rule that quality requires care. Like a skater's perfectly executed triple jump, it takes hard work behind the scenes for light verse to achieve the illusion of effortlessness. Don't confuse the effect with the process. Many of the entries in this year's contest were unsuccessful because they seemed dashed-off, repeating old themes (gibberish, bodily functions) with nothing to distinguish them from one another. A good spoof poem should believe in itself, take itself seriously — far more seriously than it deserves. Bad poetry is funny because we feel superior to its pompous sincerity. Our third-prize poem, "Ode on a Grecian Formula" by S.L. Pierotti, is a perfect example.

Parodies were among our strongest entries this year, "The Raven" being a perennial favorite. The honorees also succeeded at denting the pedestals of Walt Whitman ("O Captain! My Captain!"), John Donne ("Death Be Not Proud") and Robert Burns ("To A Mouse"). Our second-prize poem, "Ron Truman" by Tina Blevins, may be the definitive work on the theme of Poetry.com's perfidy. We were blown away by its length and complexity, including the poem-within-a-poem device. "Cruel Arabella!.../I prayed for thee when thou hadst salmonella." Lines that Lord Byron might well envy. Original odes to Twinkies, Pringles and escargot rounded out the list.

Women dominated the winner's circle this year. Are they funnier? Sicker? Can men recover from this satiric onslaught? We'll find out in our 2004-2005 contest, opening August 15, 2004. We're increasing the prize pool once again. It's now $1,609, with a top prize of $1,190. As always, entry is free. The deadline is April 1, 2005. Nicky nacky noo!

Jendi Reiter

Jendi Reiter                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

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Wergle Flomp Poetry Contest
2009 Wergle Flomp Results

Congratulations to our 2009 winners "Randy Cousteau", Louis K. Lowy and Lenny Lianne, and our 12 honorable mentions and 12 finalists.

First Prize - $1,359
"Randy Cousteau"
The Felching of the Oct'pus

Second Prize - $764

Louis K. Lowy
Poetry Workshop (Mary had a little lamb)

Third Prize - $338
Lenny Lianne
Hurl

Honorable Mentions - $72.95 each
Janette Berry
Paul Hlava
Johnson John
Benjamin Taylor Lally
M.S. Sukumaran Nair
Rachel S. Neal
John Poch
Lisa Rigdon
Debra Shulkes
Fara Spence
Tammy Tillotson
James K. Zimmerman

Finalists
H.L. Bessinger
Kenzo Kon Dedạ-Duozhu
Sarah Evans
Lamar Hedgepeth
Tim Kimbirk
Todd Lee
Barbara Lefcowitz
John McKernan
Jesse Nieboer
Jim O'Brien
Senyo Whyte
Graham Younger




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