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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2007 : Rick Lupert
LETTER TO A GUN FROM A HEAD OF ORIENTAL LETTUCE
to George W. Bush
Dear gun,
Why you kill so? Future in salad
not in bang ouch bleed dead!
Sliced Cucumber, not pow pow
Little shaved carrot, not boo boo boollets
You shoot. I health food
You make war. I make metabolation!
Oh gun, your mother and I is friends
she is a waste disposal cylindar
in Stockton. I met her in back of farmer market
she say "my son go bang bang all time
why he can't be nice salad base?!"
I promise to introduce to daughter
she work as three tined spoon
you both metal. make beautiful love
and some kind baby like stainless steel pepper shaker
Oh gun. Stop de kill.
Like me. go inside people mouth.
pre-main course, not trigger projectile hole somewhere.
Signed, Head of Oriental Lettuce (I a girl lettuce head)
Sent as a joke to Poetry.com, this poem won an honorable mention in the 2007 Wergle Flomp humor poetry contest sponsored by Winning Writers. Author Rick Lupert received a cash prize of $72.95.
About Rick Lupert
Rick Lupert has been involved in the Los Angeles poetry community since 1990. He served for two
years as a co-director of the Valley Contemporary Poets, a twenty-five year old non-profit
organization which produces a readings and publications out of the San Fernando Valley. His
poetry has appeared in numerous magazines and literary journals, including The Los Angeles
Times, Chiron Review, Stirring, PoeticDiversity.org, Zuzu's Petals, Caffeine Magazine, Blue Satellite and others. He created and maintains the Poetry Super Highway, a major Internet resource for poets. He was the winner of the very first Wergle Flomp Poetry Contest (prepare yourself before clicking) in 2002.
Rick is the author of 11 books: Paris: It's The Cheese, I Am My Own Orange County, Mowing Fargo, I'm a Jew. Are You?, Stolen Mummies, I'd Like to Bake Your Goods, A Man With No Teeth Serves Us Breakfast (Ain't Got No Press), Lizard King of the Laundromat, Brendan Constantine is My Kind of Town (Inevitable Press), Feeding Holy Cats and Up Liberty's Skirt (Cassowary Press). He has hosted the long running Cobalt Café reading series in Canoga Park since 1994 and is regularly featured at venues throughout Southern California.
Currently Rick works as a music teacher and Marketing Coordinator at Temple Ahavat Shalom in
Northridge and as a freelance graphic and web designer for anyone who would like to help pay his
mortgage.
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