The Three Muscatels Go to the Races
Illustration by Annie Mydla using Adobe Firefly (does not infringe rights of original creators)
The Birtwhistle sisters, Renee and Lenore,
from Leisurely Day, suite sixteen, second floor,
and their best friend Althea, her mixed drinks iconic,
(think rye and peach schnapps meet Old Tom gin and tonic)
were wayfarers, gadabouts, tipplers as well
such that everyone called them The Three Muscatels.
While most on their floor talked of grandkids and dentures,
the Three Muscatels were obsessed with adventures.
Activities offered each day at LD
like bingo and yoga were "boring" and "twee."
Yet their every attempt to sidestep the rules
meant a visit from LD's tyrannical ghouls.
Still, they persisted. The seemingly feckless
old biddies would never be purposely reckless.
Renee, the ringleader, was given to say:
"Underdogs usually win in a fray."
Lenore, her adoring yet boring young sibling,
(well, twins, but three minutes her younger, if quibbling)
was eager to please her big sis, who was bossy.
And Thea? Well, when she was sauced she was saucy.
They planned an escape as the new moon was waning,
Renee whispered "ponies," then all three were feigning
an injury as they limped out from Pilates
(with time for Althea to brew some hot toddies).
The honey drink made for a soothing consumption.
(The whisky no doubt clearly boosted their gumption.)
The night nurse was busy with work and engrossed
and oblivious that they had dipped and had ghost-
ed. Their outing was crucial, their voyage ordained.
Their gods were Adventure and Living Unchained.
They got to the racetrack: Step One was enacted.
Step Two, place a bet, though was slightly impacted
by someone's insistence on viewing the horses
(that someone, Renee, an unstoppable force). As
it was, she was right to insist on the visit.
Althea, now sober, was also inquisit-
ive. So was Lenore, though only sporadically.
Here she just followed them right to the paddock. She
asked why Miss Blue Note (their "sure thing") seemed sluggish.
The jockey was startled but saw they weren't thuggish,
unlike those grim mobsters he tried to resist.
But the mob boss appeared, used syringe in his fist.
"Like this three-year old filly you're useless and doddering!"
He shoved Renee down in the mud and the foddering.
Each of the three remained calm and collected.
The jockey bent down to Renee. Unexpected-
ly grabbing the whip on his belt in a flash,
Lenore smacked the mobster and gave him a lash-
ing. Renee on her way up had grabbed a horseshoe
and while he was dazed, gave the famed old One-Two.
Althea, with glee, always up to the task
lobbed the mobster upside with her gray Grey Goose flask.
He lay there unconscious but woke just in time
to be handcuffed and hauled off for more than one crime.
Miss Blue Note recovered and went on a streak.
Not quite a winning one, more like she peaked
at Santa Anita where she came in second.
Lenore, like before, watched and waited and reckoned
Miss Blue would do pretty well, placed her bet wise-
ly and took home the winnings, a sizable prize.
To smooth out relations at Leisurely Day
Lenore used the winnings to throw a par-TAY!
The famed Muscatels, for a short time admired,
then summoned to yoga, "Attendance Required."
Not inclined, but resigned, said "Okay, IF Bikram."
(Althea hung back for a nosh and stiff quick rum
and coke.) So the Three learned to balance their chi
'til their next misadventure away from LD.
Please enjoy the author reading her poem on YouTube:
