An Ode to Taste
Statues on the lawn are fine
when they evoke the true divine:
Venus, Mary, Eros, Diana
but never once Carlos Santana.
Plastic on the porch, no problem,
when outdoors you do your goblin'.
Never ever bring them in
the living room; it is a sin!
Internalizing molded chairs,
hurts more than just our derriËres.
Piety is quite the virtue.
It satiates the gods that hurt you.
However over pudding, molded
when Jesus' arms are pierced, unfolded
my stomach turns at the depiction
of the bloody crucifixion.
In the bedroom, bathroom too
Jesus Christ may follow you,
but in the dining room may they
stick to florals, blues, Monet.
A dog, a cheerful home improvement
when his tail exhibits movement.
Though be discrete and judicious
when you let him do the dishes.
Bathrooms are quite intimate
denying what you do in it.
Decorate the walls with cupids
puppydogs and other lupids,
but, my friend, it's kind of seedy
to tell your guests to wipe the "seatie"
Candy dishes are divine,
I like to find sweet mints in mine.
When offering in weather humid
ribbon candy, chocolate bloom-ed.
Freshness really is the key
to gather repeat company,
for when you offer tasty sweets
they likely don't want every piece.
Taste is not that hard to master.
You'll find it will grow ever faster
when you begin the correction
Of things that turn your guest's midsection.
Social circles will turn buzzy,
When you eschew wallpaper, fuzzy,
planters made from toilet bowls,
and couches on the porch, with holes.
Sent as a joke to League of American Poets