Cottage Cheese and STD’s
"Just part your legs and we'll begin."
I stare into her smiling face
as she prepares to raid my space.
"I hope you practice safe, safe sex.
Those STD's can be a vex."
Why wait until I get a pap
to speak the dangers of The Clap?
She finds her gloves and preps with care
Then snatches off my underwear.
"Oh those warts are quite the spite.
Like cauliflower, soft and white."
So women will be forced to scratch
Vaginas turned to veggie patch?
"Yeast infections will give rise
to cottage cheese between your thighs."
That's a cruel and foul stunt
When spoiled milk spews from your cunt.
"Then those crabs are awful brutes
clinging tight to pubic roots."
If broccoli white, vagina's make
plus cheese and crab, When comes the steak?
She leans me back and parts my knees.
Then plunges in, a twisted tease.
"How many partners have you had?
And tell the truth, it's not so bad."
Pussy's not a game of Clue.
I don't keep track of who comes through.
She shakes her head, but doesn't stop
Then takes a swab and closes shop.
I dress with speed, approach the door.
A pap smear pimps and I'm the whore.
Just part your legs and we'll begin.