I Don’t Think Virgins Deserve Spotify Premium
Enchi
Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest 2022 (view all the winners)
Honorable Mention
because music is for the romanticization of sin and Virgins never do until they do and
because I don't think it will hurt them to listen to an ad or two and
Because I heard God worships Virgins on Sundays They don't need anything else
They're Spoiled Rotten I really don't think Virgins need to go ad-free because
my Tía made me give my entire allowance to Tithe and she seemed angry and
I think the confessional speaks and if I have to listen to the whispers
if I have to hear them when they call me a whore when they say I'm not one of God's
favorites Anymore then They can listen when Spotify tries to sell them bottled water
Besides I have men to persuade how can I compete with America's best Radio Voices I need
sex to be ad-free because Spotify Ads made my boyfriend go soft
Spotify Ads made him tell me he doesn't love me anymore Spotify Ads
killed the mood and I don't think Virgins deserve Spotify Premium I heard
hymens are sold on Ebay but my Tía made me give my entire allowance to Tithe
because I think the confessional speaks and I heard I wasn't very convincing because
my ex-boyfriend drinks sparkling water with Anne and Her Virginity while
They have Bible study together on Wednesdays He is a Virgin by association and He is a Virgin
because Men can't lose the hymens They never had They just need to find a useless woman a woman
without use but women have everything to lose Virgin Men aren't the same as Virgin women because
Virgin Men are just Men and Virgin women are like cars Virgin women
depreciate after a ride and maybe if Someone had tried to sell my boyfriend
a bottle of water before he depreciated me then I wouldn't have had to give
my entire allowance to Tithe I shouldn't have bought Spotify Premium for 9.99 I wish
Someone would have interrupted so I didn't have to give a pitch for myself on every first date
I don't think Virgins deserve Spotify Premium because I don't want Them to be like me
