Problem 6
Christopher Greathouse
Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest 2015 (view all the winners)
Honorable Mention
A 5'9" Robert Frost is sleepwalking by woods
on a particularly snowy evening.
Snow is accumulating at a rate
of 9 inches per hour, and the only motel
flashing "VACANCY" is the Champagne 5
Deluxe Value Inn 13.7 miles away.
Assume Frost packed neither snowshoes
nor snowmobile, and cannot walk atop
snow in any way, and that he will somnambulate
at an average rate of 1.8 mph
until the moment the snow reaches his height.
a) How long can Frost afford to stop
if he wants to make it to the Champagne 5
before last call?
Consider that under the Michigan Penal Code,
misdemeanor trespass is punishable by imprisonment
for up to 30 days, a fine up to $250 or both for poets.
b) Does Frost's seizure render this snowy moment a case
of Tort Law or Real Property Law?
c) Is the idea of snow impermanent
or does it consist the face of the earth? Explain.
Farmer Jenkins does not tolerate trespassers
watching his woods fill up with snow, and pursues
Frost at a rate of 2.0mph.
If Jenkins gives Frost a sportsmanlike
1mi head start, and must be within 50yds for a clear shot,
will Frost reconsider his obligations?
Assume that the barrels of Jenkins' shotgun
are dark and deep.
