The Breakup
Dear baby, I
wish I didn't have to
do this, but you
leave me no choice. We
had a sweet love between us, but
now it's bland and
hard. And
kind of wrinkly, I
think. Like a walnut. But
I digress. We have to
break up. We
are finished. You
know why. You
cheated with my friend. And
my brother. And that guy at the deli that we
always buy ham from. I
feel like you ripped my heart to
shreds, then tried to light the heart-shreds on fire, but
it didn't work-they would turn brown but
wouldn't catch, so you
got frustrated and threw the whole mess into
a sack of angry cats and
barbed wire. Yeah, I
feel like that. We
had a good thing! Why, baby, why?! We
could have been Romeo and Juliet! Well, but
without killing ourselves I'd hope, you know what I
mean. But you
ruined it, and
this time it won't work to
kiss and make up. It used to
be that when we
kissed, your lips were sugar and
wine, but
now they taste like battery acid. Like that time you
got wasted and actually ate a battery, but I
mean it more as a metaphor now. Anyway, I have to move on. But I'll never forget
the times we shared. Unless I suffer massive head trauma. In which case I hope you
will visit me and explain to me the various tattoos that I have.
Sent as a joke to PoetryAmerica
