The Emerald Vs. the Queen
Ireland is like a pimp,
Keeping Europe in line.
England is like a little girl,
Spending all their time drinking tea.
The Emerald Isle projects beauty,
Like the winner of Miss America.
England projects disappointment,
Like when you hear you have herpes.
Ireland is tiny but cultured,
Like a sophisticated woman.
England is slightly larger,
Like a fat chick from the south.
Ireland is home to Catholic virtue,
Like a man of good morality.
England is the land of protestant ways,
Like a hobo who stabs you after you give him money.
Ireland is a musical land of beautiful notes,
Like a symphony of old.
England is like a pop act,
Full of underage women flaunting their underdeveloped goods.
Ireland gets all the chicks,
Like a star quarterback.
England is like an ugly duckling,
Possessing webbed feet and no teeth.
Ireland, finally is like an angel,
Flowing beauty and kindness at heart
While England is like the devil,
Composed of evil and slightly homosexual.
Sent as a joke to Pen Pushers Publications
