We Like War Better When It’s Wearing LipstickThere are production credits for things that go boom,
rewrites, budgetary constraints and deadlines so that
they can book the flight to Cannes in time to shake
hands with the guys in tuxedos. And when they arrive
we want to read the piece about the special effects
and hear them talk about it on the news when she calls
him a canadian and he shouts hitler and the guy holding
the book tells the comedian what war is really like.
And we want to know if angelina and jake are going to do it
or if he'll go back to the blonde before the final reel and we
want one of them to run into the line of fire without
eyeliner because they have to expose the shocking truth.
And we want to know that their bastard has only one ball
and beats his mistress and has a picture of stalin on his
desk and we want to know that he killed his own people
and that his breath stinks and that he likes Bewitched.
And we want them to like us but hate us but like us because
we are there for them and the translator has a family
that he is just trying to feed and we call him Fetch or
Gilly and he tells us about the tailor who lost his family.
And we want to see someone shot in slow motion, from
different angles and in close-up, but we don't want to
see his guts or watch him puke or piss or cry mommy
mommy mommy when they pull him from the wreckage.
And we want to know that our god is better than their god
but then we want someone to tell us that we all worship
the same god and we want to hear music when he says it
so that we know he is serious and we have to think about it.
And we want the Herald to proclaim five stars because
we like war better when it comes soaked in butter and the guy
behind us is not kicking our chair during the soundtrack ad
and because we like war better when it's wearing lipstick.