Jillian Peet
All seekers of truth, come flock to my booth and I'll tell you a tale that's good
It involves a young dame who puts most to shame when it comes to eating food
Here at this fair, I've seen my share of those who can pack away the meat
But on that fateful day, I could honestly say there was no match for Jillian Peet
She was painfully thin, like the rest of her kin, as though she hadn't eaten for days
At the young age of nine there was no outward sign of Jillian's gorging ways
Beneath her façade of a frail, slender bod, a ravenous creature had bred
But her family was poor, and could never endure to keep her properly fed
As year passed by year, it became rather clear that the young girl was fading away
Then at the age of sixteen she was finally keen to discover all she could purvey
She stopped by my stand, and made her demand to be entered with all haste
Into a tournament where, each year at the fair, frankfurter enthusiasts raced
I had to believe there were tricks up her sleeve; she was really much too petite
To think she'd succeed against those with speed, who had years of practice to eat
Despite all my doubts, some bystander's shouts convinced me to let her contend
So she filled out her name, absolving my blame should her life unexpectedly end
Tension was high, as the moment drew nigh for the bout to get underway
Young Jillian stared as the food was prepared, clearly eager to enter the fray
The competitors stood on a stage made of wood, each warrior yearning to win
Plates loaded with franks were brought to their ranks, and the contest was set to begin
The starting gun fired, Miss Peet became mired in her massively over-sized meal
A slow start out the gate, we had not long to wait 'till her true talent she would reveal
She picked up her speed and the crowd said, "Indeed, this girl has incredible gumption!"
I looked towards the stage and attempted to gauge her astonishing rate of consumption
Spectators cheered while the food disappeared, as though sucked into a black hole
Her stomach distended more than nature intended, as she came nigh to reaching her goal
With three hot dogs outstanding and her body expanding, she labored to finish the fight
Two, then one they remained, and people's necks craned to witness the very last bite
Though her spirit was eager, her body more meager; her dining had slowed to a crawl
Then, the last gulp complete and with no more to eat, a great shout escaped from us all
But something was wrong, our joy didn't last long, her eyes rolled back into her head
My heart started to pound as she fell to the ground, looking very convincingly dead
Despite the waiver she signed, I felt disinclined to sanction her premature death
So I pounded her chest (as the doctors suggest) 'til she once again drew her own breath
To my delight and surprise, she opened her eyes and declared with utmost goodwill
"After sixteen long years, filled with hunger and tears, I've finally eaten my fill!"
Thus ends my tale of a girl, thin and frail, whose story transcends our small town
Looking back at events, I have no laments in the manner she captured her crown
Here at this fair, I've seen my share of those who can pack away the meat
But on that fateful day, I could honestly say there was no match for Jillian Peet.
