Letter to a Gun from a Head of Oriental Lettuce
to George W. Bush
Why you kill so? Future in salad
not in bang ouch bleed dead!
Sliced Cucumber, not pow pow
Little shaved carrot, not boo boo boollets
You shoot. I health food
You make war. I make metabolation!
Oh gun, your mother and I is friends
she is a waste disposal cylindar
in Stockton. I met her in back of farmer market
she say "my son go bang bang all time
why he can't be nice salad base?!"
I promise to introduce to daughter
she work as three tined spoon
you both metal. make beautiful love
and some kind baby like stainless steel pepper shaker
Oh gun. Stop de kill.
Like me. go inside people mouth.
pre-main course, not trigger projectile hole somewhere.
Signed, Head of Oriental Lettuce (I a girl lettuce head)
Sent as a joke to poetry.com