Mind Over Mindfulness
It's 6:55pm and this metal chair is already uncomfortable,
but I am determined to be here now.
How long could a seventh grade band concert even last?
There's no way it could be more than an hour.
I will not let my mind wander.
I know this moment is fleeting.
If Sophie plays in two concerts a year,
and she plays the flute all through high school,
that's only twelve more times that I'll see her play
before she graduates.
Twelve more nights of hard metal chairs and then Sophie leaves home?
All the more reason to pay attention
Mindfulness, mindfulness, mindfulness.
Did I leave the stove on?
I can't remember.
I don't think the stove could make the house completely burn down in an hour.
I wonder where the line is between forgetfulness and early onset dementia.
Here come the kids.
There's Sophie's best friend, Riley,
who has gotten so tall.
I have known so many of these kids
since they were in kindergarten.
How could I want to be anywhere else right now?
Focus, focus, focus.
Someone is really out of tune.
When will they get better?
I bet half of these kids drop out of band next year.
Look at all the parents with their phones out,
videotaping every minute.
Does anyone really go back and watch this footage?
Maybe someone in the band will get famous someday.
Then that footage could be worthwhile.
I just remembered the dream I had last night.
I was a shapeshifter, and I turned into an owl.
What does that mean?
I wish I could be a shapeshifter right now.
That would sure surprise all of these smug PTA parents.
Are they really playing the theme song from Jaws right now?
After I watched Jaws with my dad, I couldn't even go into a pool for over a year.
We really need to plan a trip out to see my parents.
Breathe, be here now, breathe.
Feel the metal chair.
Be in your body.
Maybe I wouldn't be so uncomfortable in this chair
if I wasn't so out of shape.
Is it possible that I'm already starting menopause?
I seem to be gaining five pounds a year for no apparent reason.
This slowing metabolism is a problem
because what if I live for another forty years?
What is forty times five pounds?
Could I really gain a hundred pounds by the time I'm eighty-three?
I need to stop eating fries.
I'm starting to sweat thinking about all of this weight gain.
Did Sophie even brush her hair?
It looks like all of the other kids are wearing black shoes.
I didn't get that memo
or I probably did and just didn't read it.
I wonder which celebrity will die next?
Jack Nicholson can't be doing too well these days.
I should start doing yoga again.
I heard about a yoga class downtown where you work out
surrounded by shelter cats eligible for adoption.
So strange and so Seattle.
I really wish I could skip my 9:30 meeting tomorrow morning.
I can't imagine five more boring people to be with for three hours.
At least there might be donuts,
although donuts could definitely be a part of this inexplicable weight gain.
I think my brother used to play the clarinet in the school band.
I should make a playlist of songs that I want played if I'm ever terminally ill
or confined to bed.
I wouldn't want someone else trying to pick out music for me then,
and what if I couldn't talk to make requests?
I bet Sophie has a crush on that cute saxophone player
who also forgot to wear black shoes.
I had my first boyfriend in seventh grade.
Billy Kincade was the best break dancer at school,
but the worst kisser.
Where is he now?
I couldn't find him on Facebook,
even though I managed to find every other one of my old boyfriends
and even accidentally sent a friend request to Jason O'Neil's wife.
Be here now. Be here now. Be here now.
It's 7:55, and the clapping has started.
Sophie is scanning the audience to find me.
I smile and pull out my phone to take a picture to capture the moment.
Be in the moment. It's not that hard.
I wonder if a new episode of The Bachelor is on tonight.