Pizza Is a Vegetable, I Say
Something is creeping around the garden, watch out!A new sort of vegetable growing from a sprout.
Flat and bubbly, all cheesy and round,
A vegetable called "Pizza" coming right out of the ground!
Seed of tomato (puree), milk? of one cow,
Grease from somewhere, I don't know how,
Powdered cellulose, salt, salt and salt,
The secrets are locked safely away in a vault.
A man named Boehner gave the ok,
To have pizza as a vegetable at school today!
Jellybean vitamins, broccoli shaped cake,
Let's see how much of this my stomach can take.
Powdered cellulose, xanthan gum,
Can we stop our squeals from becoming a collective "YUM!"?
The thrill of ingesting calcium propionate,
Turns lunchtime at school from something we used to hate—
Into a festival of high fructose-tasty delight,
Fake sugar from heaven, the Lord and Boehner were right!
That L-Systene monohydrochloride high,
Will surely help make my test scores fly!
When we are all drowsy after such healthiness,
Maybe we can then load up on prescription pills to make us rest.
Corporations called "People" will be in our dreams,
Stuffing dollar bills in their pockets, bursting at the seams.
When a lot of children are bouncing off the ceiling,
My ADHD will kick in and I will have no feeling,
For anything that isn't sailing around the school,
Calls of, "Get that child some medicine!", my condition will fuel.
Sugar and pills, a drug company delight,
Glowing from chemicals, the world we will light.
Round as a balloon I will be,
Gee congress people, thanks for looking out for me!
