PunditsIt's a play of five acts, broken pacts, suspect facts.
Well, he's got to be unhappy with that, the prat.
Didn't even manage to avenge his father's death,
He has the mentality all right but where's the action?
You have to ask where Laertes was in the first half.
Paris is all very well but he left Ophelia completely
unsupported and in grave danger of being shafted.
Hamlet may as well dig his own grave
after such a weak performance against
what we all know is strong opposition.
Claudius came in with a free transfer
and there have been rumours that Gertrude
was the bung hole referred to by her son.
Old Hamlet tested positive for belladonna
So who knows where it's all going to end.
Well we've some sword play to look forward to
after the interval, no doubt about it.
These Scandinavian matches always seems
to run in to extra time; we've seen it so often.
It could go to death penalties in the end.
Never underestimate the power of madness;
it's all about needing to be at peace with yourself.
At last someone has let Yoric use his head.
Polonius plays it like a whale. Yes, very.
Or maybe like a camel, he's that clumsy.
You were right, Alan—it went to death penalties.
Fortinbras has got to be pleased with that.
The Danish fans have fallen silent.