Shoat Changed
While fixing the fence by the road 'long my field,Came a luxury car and a lady "well-heeled".
She stopped to inquire about my fat pet,
Who lay near to the road and was taking a rest.
Most farmers have Collies or Shepherds or mutts,
Who round up the the cows and ride in their trucks.
So it seemed special for the lady to see,
That a young Hampshire barrow accompanied me.
And even more startling was his obvious limp.
The wooden prosthetic made him walk as a gimp.
The lady inquired how the shoat had got hurt,
Guessing, a puncture infected by dirt.
Hit by a tractor or hurt by a bull,
Or some other bad luck from a fate that was cruel.
"It was none of those things", I said stretching a strand,
And nailing it fast with my opposite hand.
I bid her adieu and was walking away,
"Then how did it happen?", I heard her voice say.
"If you've got the patience to stay for a spell,
Then this pig's life story, to you, I will tell."
"Like all neutered shoats his future had bounds,
Since, at 6 months of age, he'd weigh two hundred pounds.
He'd be no good for breeding and birthing he can't,
Thus, he would be sold to a processing plant."
"But, three times this hog made it so plain to see,
That he was quite far from ordinary."
"Some boys were down fishing, when one's line got caught,
And being the only hook that he'd brought,
He went into the water, but it was too deep,
Surprised when the bottom dropped off so steep."
"Breathed in a big gulp of the pond and slipped down,
Which looked to us all like the boy would be drowned.
When in jumped this barrow, who dragged him to shore,
A sapient act, for one born as a boar."
"Is that when it happened, when his back leg got hurt?
Was he cut on a rock and infected by dirt?
Maybe leeches or snake bit or chewed by a fish,
A mean snapping turtle or some such as this?"
Patience I asked from the visiting guest,
and on with the story, I patiently pressed.
"The second time piggy made himself known,
Was while I pulled out stumps, so the corn could be sown.
The chain drew up taut and the tractor reared back,
My heart leapt to my throat, and that is a fact."
"I stabbed at the floorboard but missed pressing the clutch,
My life passed before me, my mind, it lost touch.
But I was pulled safe by the quick-acting shoat,
who saved me from harm, by strong yanks on my coat."
"Is that when it happened, that his back leg got hurt?
Was it squashed by the tractor and crushed in the dirt?
Was it cut by the metal or scorched by the block?
Burned by spilled oil or cut on a rock?"
Patience I asked from the visiting guest,
And on with the story, I patiently pressed.
"The Holsteins were penned in the parlor one day,
Ready for milking and each had their hay.
I started the milk pump, overloading the wires,
Pennies under fuses, just aided the fire."
"The barn's milking parlor changed to raging enclosure,
Where livestock and farmers lost all composure."
"But that durned young hog, he pushed into the fray,
Untied the cows and showed them the way,
To exit the danger and be safely away,
Then, nudged the farm helpers from that burning bay."
"Is that when it happened, was he burned in the flame?
Seared by the fire and now winds up lame?"
"As I said at the start it was none of your guesses.
Not tractors or bulls or medical messes.
Folks like yourself who live in the city,
Feel that living out here, is just worthy of pity."
"Think we're bumpkins and odd balls and not up to par,
That we walk where we go, 'cause we can't drive a car.
We use gaslights and johnnies and aren't on the ball,
Think we don't rightly have no learnin' at all."
"Well, this country cousin is clearly no dunce,
For I know you don't eat a good hog all at once."
