The Charge of the Light Weights
1Half a pint, half a pint,
Half a pint downward,
All in the valley of pubs
Walked the six Light Weights.
"Forward the uni club!
Charge for the bar!" he said.
Into the valley of pubs
Walked the six Light Weights.
2
"Forward the uni club!"
On to another pub.
Not though the students knew
Someone had spiked them.
Theirs not to question fun,
Theirs not to stop at one,
Theirs just to drink and run.
Into the valley of pubs
Swayed the six Light Weights.
3
Drunkard to right of them,
Drunkard to left of them,
Drunkard in front of them
Vomiting freely.
Stormed at by sober men,
Onward they lurched again,
Into another pub,
Into a drinkers' den
Crawled the six Light Weights.
4
Flashed all their bottoms bare,
Flashed as they tried to scare
Mooning the people there,
Flashing the locals, while
All the town wondered.
Plunged in the ciggy smoke
Through to the bar they broke:
Native and tutor
Reeled from their push and poke
Swearing and cursing.
Then they crawled home, but not,
Not the six Light Weights.
5
Drunkard to right of them,
Drunkard to left of them,
Drunkard behind them
Vomiting freely.
Stormed at by sober men,
Headed for home again,
They who had even then
Come through the place of pubs,
Back from the drinkers' den,
All that was left of them,
Left of six Light Weights.
6
When will hangovers fade?
O the pub crawl they made!
All the town wondered.
Such was the price they paid,
Now they drink lemonade!
Sober six Lightweights!
