The Fitting
Jeff Shearer
Tom Howard/Margaret Reid Poetry Contest 2016 (view all the winners)
First Prize, Tom Howard, Poetry
Normally, you want the front ballistic panel
two and one half inches above the belt.
A bullet proof vest is only as good as the fitting.
Raise your chin. I'll get the length of your chest.
Above the belt and no higher than your second top button.
That way when you sit down
the vest won't ride up into your throat.
These things shall be upon your heart.
You shall speak of them
when you sit among those who seek your counsel,
and when you lie down,
and when you rise up.
Relax, with your arms to the side.
You don't want this back panel
to be more than four inches down
from your collar seam.
Take this as your sacred vestment.
When you wear this collar,
you wear a likeness of Him.
You are ready to serve.
You're fine. Leave the collar on.
It's the seam that counts.
Four inches from the bottom.
Now, see this? I'm leaving room on the side on purpose.
You don't want these panels to overlap.
That just makes it bulky with no added protection.
And that's not good.
Always be mindful of the Good Shepherd,
who knows his sheep and who did not hesitate
to lay down his life for them.
Pull here on the plastic dust liner. Smell the new.
Raise your arms. Yes. Nice and snug.
Snug is good.
You secure these straps to the Velcro. Here and here.
Don't overstrap it. That cuts off your breathing.
This we do in the name of the Holy Spirit,
who breathes life into the Church
and supports our weakness with his strength.
These are your trauma plates.
They go here and here.
Feel this.
Three quarter inch ceramic.
These are for additional protection of the body from
blunt force trauma.
Through this consecration,
Christ adds a new member to his body.
Standard issue for our PD is a Level Two vest.
For handgun rounds.
Yours is a Level Four. Same as your partner's.
It will stop armor piercing rounds.
All rifles, all calibers. Nine millimeter to 44 magnum.
From the least to the greatest.
Such is the counsel of our Master,
the greater should behave as if he were the least.
Do not loosen this cinch.
It keeps the filling in place.
Eighty percent of the saves have been attributed to the filling.
TB3 Titanium.
Twenty percent of the saves were within a six inch radius of the heart.
Come with Thy grace and heavenly aid
to fill the hearts which Thou hast made.
You will sign here, stating that you understand
the proper use of this vest
and that all risks have been explained to you.
All liability is transferred to you, as the briefs like to say,
now and forever more.
You are responsible to ensure that your ballistic panels are positioned
inner side IN, and outer side OUT.
Now, with the blessing of this pastoral ring,
you enter into the sacred covenant
that will guide you in your earthly pilgrimage toward eternal happiness,
now and forevermore.
Amherst Herald, November 2, 2003.
Yesterday in Durham, New Hampshire, Gene Robinson became the first openly gay pastor to be consecrated as Bishop within the Episcopal Church. 3,000 people were in attendance. The ceremony at the Whittemore Center was conducted with heightened security, since multiple threats on his life had been received. Robinson and his partner Mark Andrew both wore bullet proof vests during the consecration.
