Automotive Safety Survey
A few months ago, my debts were discharged;
My bankruptcy over, I was once more at large
To spend as I would, with no legal imbroglios,
My credit card debt had gone the way of the dodoes.
So I bought me a car, a two-thousand-two Sable;
To say what were the payments I'd be wholly unable.
I drove to Ohio, to Kentucky, then back
To old Indiana, where I raced on a track.
Before long the car was just rust on a frame;
But call it a car? Sure, but only in name.
Soon the repo man came, with his truck and his cable;
And pried from my grip the wheel of that Sable.
So I bought me a Nissan, I think an aught-three;
Which I drove and I drove until I met a tree.
It was a white maple, I now seem to recall;
Or was it the Nissan which I met with that wall?
No, into the wall I drove the Mitsubishi;
The diners were stunned, yet remained quite chi-chi.
Next my Isuzu slid over a cliff;
Just as I stopped to give someone a lift.
Good thing for me, I had just stepped out;
Yet I still wished that I had avoided that route.
So then what became of my ninety-nine Ford?
I think of it often, at least when I'm bored.
It was a nice one, with air foils and flames;
A genuine favorite of alla' the dames.
All I remember's the noise of the crash;
My recollection goes by in a flash.
I awoke in a bed, bandaged down to my toes;
The doctors called it luck that I retained those.
The car was a loss, you can take it from me;
A loss to the earth, 'though a gain for the sea.
I also once lost an eighty-nine Chevy;
That sucker crashed, then plunged off of a levy.
I have much better luck with Chryslers and Dodges;
Even I can't wreck those slamming into mirages.
But you can't wreck a car on an illusory basis;
At least you must wait till you find an oasis.
So here I sit in the midst of the sand;
With nothing for miles but this dust-covered land.
Just me in this two-thousand-one Dodge SUV;
I don't wanna wreck it; now how would that be?
I'll sit here in the desert and just wait, alas;
It helps that I long ago ran out of gas.
Sent as a joke to www.poetryamerica.com
