The Patty Wagon
It's me again, just my patties, buns, potatoes and I.
Open a food truck they said, it'll be fun they said
And so I act in a manner befitting the foolishness of youth.
I wipe out almost the entirety of my savings
I buy a truck, I buy patties, I buy buns, I buy potatoes.
"Here are some funny and creative burger food truck name ideas", ChatGPT had said
I start a food truck, "The Patty Wagon".
It's a slow day, as most days are now.
There's a guy in the distance, walking towards me.
My heart perks up, I try to look away.
He's actually in front of me now, staring at the menu.
"I'll have a large fries please", he says.
I stare at my own menu, graciously designed by Canva
Was "The Patty Wagon" not an obvious enough name?
"Sure Sir", I say anyway.
I toss some potatoes into the fryer basket, lower it into the oil
I allow myself to sneak a glance at him
"Do you work nearby?" I ask.
He's staring intently at my fryer basket
"No, I'm just visiting some friends," he replies.
I nod, I try to think of something else to say.
"Are you going to put that back in?" he asks.
I look down, I've somehow lifted the fryer off the oil
"Yes Sir, of course," I say.
I'm looking at him again, still thinking
"How would you like your fries done?" I ask.
"You've done it again," he says
His eyes fall to the fryer, I've lifted them off the oil again.
"I'm in a hurry", he says.
I put the fryer back in the oil
Though I really do need an answer to the question
"Would you prefer your fries on the softer or crispier side?" I ask.
His eyes are not on me, "Can't you talk and fry at the same time?"
I look down, there is some truth to his words.
"I like my fries crispy, but I very much prefer my fries fast", he says.
"Sure Sir", I say
A little annoying, he is.
But the customer is king
"How would you like your fries seasoned?" I ask.
"What's wrong with you," he sighs, "put that back in first and I'll tell you".
I look down, frankly I've never noticed this aspect of my mouth to motor connection before
Or the lack thereof.
Perhaps he should have ordered a burger too, which I could have been preparing at the same time.
"Whatever you recommend, just nothing spicy, can't do none of that", he says.
He looks around, I can tell he's getting a little frustrated now.
I have a pile of freshly baked burger buns on display, buns he failed to order with my patties.
He reaches out and pokes at one
He pokes at another one, this he stuffs into his mouth
"Why are you eating my buns?" I ask.
"You're slow, and I'm hungry," he says.
I twitch my nose instinctively.
I'm pouring out the fries now, "That'll be seven dollars Sir", I say.
"Isn't it five?" he asks.
"It's two for the bun," I say.
"I'm not paying for that. It's on you that you were too slow when your customer is hungry," he says.
I purse my lips, but I'm a professional
"I apologise for the wait Sir, the bun is on the house."
"No shit," he says
I season the fries, I toss them diligently
I make sure every fry is lovingly coated
"Here you go Sir," I say.
He slaps a five on the counter, he leaves.
I look at my work station, Wasabi Devil Seasoning Powder
Good luck tomorrow
Asshole.
