Dog Act(or)
Dog actors are the ultimate method actors
A dog actor does not know they're acting
& as such fully inhabits The Dog
Become so Dog-like it is impossible
To distinguish the dog's everyday existence
From The Dog's narrative
The plot for The Dog
Is always a subplot for the dog
Here is the dog alive in themself
the dog behaves like a dog
the dog acts as though The Dog would act
The acting of The Dog is the dog
The Director suggests
That the dog refuses to hold a mirror
Up to The Dog
the dog barks & so too does The Dog
Though the dog is solely in possession of the bark
The bark is singular
The Director feels the dog
Is not prioritizing The Dog
That the dog does not yet know The Dog
The subject is the dog
The object is The Dog
the dog should study The Dog
The Director insists the dog
Must separate from The Dog
In order to become The Dog
How can one become
The Dog when one is already
the dog
the dog's motivations are different from
The Dog's motivations
The Dog is more than the dog
The Director is trying to get
The best out of the dog
Who responds by acting like a dog
the dog is labelled a dog
the dog does not know when
To give up the dog act
the dog won't put in the work clearly
the dog is making things rough
the dog is not a part of the pack
It becomes apparent that
the dog lacks training
But not in the traditional dog sense
Training for dog actors
Is very different
To training for human actors
Method acting is not suitable for dogs
The producers try to train the dog
In the Stella Adler technique
But the dog lacks imagination
the dog acts exactly as the dog would act
When instructed to perform the dog the dog does the dog
The Director sees a silver lining
the dog physically embodies The Dog
Why not try Stanislavski
When the dog is asked to recall a memory
the dog reverts to behaving like the dog
Which is a perfect shadow of The Dog's childhood
The producers agree that this is quite dog-like
Never have they seen
A dog so fully inside The Dog
During the filming of The Dog Two
Aptly titled The Dog Too: The Dogging
A union rep notices the dog's behaviour
The rep identifies that the dog
Is dogged by The Dog
That the dog is in fact a dog at all times
This is double standards according to the rep
the dog should not be expected
To inhabit The Dog all day every day
The hours that the dog
Has to be The Dog
This is dog exploitation
At home the dog is sleeping
In a dog bed
& eating dog biscuits
the dog appears to behave
Like The Dog
Even when no one is watching
An intimacy coach
Becomes concerned about
the dog's mental health
No one can tell whether the dog is happy
The Dog Too is a miserable film
The Dog is unhappy in the film
the dog must act unhappy in order to be The Dog
This is tantamount to psychological torture
The union rep is disgusted
The second AD is outraged
Dogs should be happy
Dog actors should be happy
Litigation against the studio
Leads to The Dog Act
Which requires all dogs on set to be happy dogs
The Dog Act revolutionizes the industry
Barring many sad dogs from set
Sad dogs are no longer a part of the story
When award season rolls around
the dog is overlooked for an Oscar
Despite playing a dog called Oscar
The industry debates why the dog was shunned at the awards
One commentator suggests that the dog has limited range
the dog can only play The Dog
Other commentators say that the dog has been typecast
That the dog is not always an extremely happy dog
That the dog actually longs to play more complex dog characters
the dog becomes a representative
For a movement called
The Sad Dog Movement
Scriptwriters get involved
They long to write more complex dog characters
They long to write dogs who have experienced dog trauma
In order to avoid further litigation
The studio comes to a decision
Regarding the representation of dogs on screen
In an open letter they state that dogs are no longer dog actors
That stories about dogs are no longer fictional stories about dogs
That all films featuring dogs are actually documentaries about dogs
The industry seems satisfied with this outcome
Dog trainers & dog workers are ignored
Litigation against the studio is dropped
There is another problem however
People grow weary of their dogs
Can they trust their dogs
If all films featuring dogs are documentaries
Does this mean that the mere presence of a dog in everyday life
Indicates that a person is living inside a documentary
Many dog owners do not want to be surveilled
Other dog owners look at their dogs
As potential sources of revenue
For some dog owners
This realization rubs up against
Their anthropocentric worldview
They no longer see themselves
As the main character in their own story
They grow jealous of their dogs
the dog is owned by the studio
As such the dog is oblivious to this issue
the dog does not release a statement
the dog is called out by The Dog's fans
Accused of not caring about the interests of fellow dogs
People say the dog was only ever nice when playing The Dog
A senator raises The Dog Problem
Suggests that the only option
Is to fictionalize all dogs
If all dogs are fictional
Then there will be no dogs
In documentaries
The studio produces
A film called
THE MAKING OF DOGS
The film is an exposé that reveals
That all dogs are made-up
That not a single dog has ever existed
That the only dogs that have ever existed
Are dog characters in films
The film is boycotted by the industry
No one needs to see THE MAKING OF DOGS
The industry is already known for its perversions
Everyone knows that dogs are made-up
According to federal legislation
Made law in the senate
All dogs are The Dog
It is at this point that The Dog turns 77
It is not possible to mark The Dog's birthday
Because the dog does not exist
The Dog formerly known as the dog
Stares at a billboard with his own Dog face
On it & thinks it's a Dog eat dog world
Or is it
Please enjoy this YouTube video of the author reading their poem.
