A Sex Therapist’s 50 Ways to Please Your Lover (Paul Simon)
Illustration by Annie Mydla using Shutterstock AI
If you're having problems in the bed, not to worry
The answer is easy if you take it from me
A licensed expert in sexual psychology
There must be fifty ways to please your lover
She said, I know the "big O" may be easy to elude
Furthermore, I hope my advice won't offend if you're a prude
But I'll share some tips at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to please your lover
Fifty ways to please your lover
Blow out his back, Jack
Get him a little blue pill, Jill
Bring in some toys, Roy
Let yourself be free
Try not to bust, Rust
You both need to discuss much
Just drop to your knees, Lee
Replace shame with glee
Ooh, suck on the bean, Jean
Let her be dom, Tom
Find erogenous zones, Jones
You just listen to me
Get down with three, Bri
You just need the right touch
Give him a peg, Meg
Make sure they agree
She said it grieves me to hear your sex has been so plain
Take my advice if you want to make your partner come again
I said I appreciate that and would please explain
About the fifty ways
She said, why don't you both try it out tonight?
And I believe in the morning you'll both wake up in delight
And then she dismissed me and i realized she was probably right
There must be fifty ways to please your lover
Fifty ways to please your lover
A little more foreplay, Jay
Sit on his cock, Brock,
Break out the leather, Heather
Get a lil' slutty
Oh, sit on his face, Grace
You both need to discuss, much
Just send him a pic, Rick
Conversation's key
Pull on her hair, Claire
Hit the prostate, Kate
Don't be scared to eat ass, Cass
Just make some whoopie
Use more hand, Jan
Your game just needs a retouch
Get that consent, Brent
Trust me, I've a phD
