Ode to a Stamp
Oh sticky little stampy friend
How I long to lick your end
And place you on an envelope
To send you via post with hope
That one day you will find the one
To whom your address bids you run
But maybe not so freaky fast
Because you pay a bill that's past
Its due date on the billing card
And curr'ntly I may find it hard
To pay the debt I have accrued
For which I fear I might be sued
So take the long way if you would
For I feel today's postmark should
Hold up firm my defense in court
If prosecution should retort
That I did not pay my bills on time
I will respond, "What is my crime?
You clearly see the postage shows
I did my best to pay my owes"
But should you find your quarry soon
Oh stampy friend that is no boon
I wish it not for I must say
My fate is dark along that way
For prison cells lie to that end
And my cellmate is not my friend
He'll find me in the library
Toting both rage and shiv with he
Oh twelve times then and seven more
He plunges shiv into my gore
And there I lie amongst the books
The finance row so no one looks
I lie and watch my life's blood run
And think about the only one
That could have saved me from this fate
Oh stampy friend, could you not wait
Three days to clear my perfidy
And bring me back liquidity
My taxes then, I could have used
To pay collectors most enthused
Great prospect of continuation
Of my life and maturation
But no you fucking stampy stamp
You have your fun instead and clamp
Upon my life like gods of old
With disdain your strangle hold
And crush my life, this day alack
All because I licked your back
