Untitled (“I want to cut a hole…”)
"Your poetry sparks the imagination and presents the reader with a fresh, unique perspective on life."
Letter from poetry.com to Rick Lupert regarding the following poem...
I want to cut a hole in your butt cheek
your left butt check
and put my COQUE COQUE COQUE in there
and do you, like I like to do nasty
In your new cut hole
Or perhaps if you had a COQUE COQUE COQUE
You could cut a hole in one of my butt cheeks
perhaps the right one
And do me like I've done you so many times
We could drink each other's jizz
like lemonade made from a Buffalo's pee pee
Let's kill all the people
All of them. Dead.
I love you.
Sent as a joke to poetry.com under the name "Jocalyn Kirkadoodoo", this poem is the 2002 winner of the Wergle Flomp parody poetry contest sponsored by Winning Writers. Author Rick Lupert received a cash prize of $220.70.
Of his winning poem, Mr. Lupert writes that poetry.com initially selected it for their $49.95 anthology, The Best Poems and Poets of 2002. A two-color personalized laser letter announced,
"Congratulations on your accomplishment, Jocalyn. Only a small percentage of individuals whose poetry we have examined were selected to be part of this distinguished group of Outstanding Poets.... You were selected for publication on the basis of your unique talent. Your poetry sparks the imagination and presents the reader with a fresh, unique perspective on life."
Alas, it appears Jocalyn's artistry got a fresh examination some time after this letter was sent. Her work can no longer be found on poetry.com, but it lives on here at Winning Writers.