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Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest 2007
Congratulations to the winners of our 2007 humor poetry contest!
Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest 2008
Congratulations to the winners of our 2008 humor poetry contest!
Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest 2009
Congratulations to the winners of our 2009 humor poetry contest!
Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest 2010
Congratulations to the winners of our 2010 humor poetry contest!
Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest 2011
Congratulations to the winners of our 2011 humor poetry contest!
Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest 2012
Congratulations to the winners of our 2012 humor poetry contest!
H.L. Bessinger
James K. Zimmerman
Jim Zimmerman is the winner of the 2009 Hart Crane Memorial Poetry Contest, and his work appears (or will) in SLAB, Penumbra, Off Channel, Wild Leaf Press's 2009 Anthology, and ICON. He is totally confused about this Wergle Flomp thing, since he has absolutely no sense of humor and thought…
Tammy Tillotson
Tammy Tillotson is a freelance writer. She lives in Virginia with her husband, two small tireless boys, and a Siamese fighting fish named ABCDEFG, or simply Alphabetta for short. She earned her Bachelor of Science degree from Old Dominion University and her Master of Arts in Liberal Studies from Hollins…
Fara Spence
Fara Spence is a novelist and poet who lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Her most recent book, Black Water Born was published by Breakwater Books.
Debra Shulkes
Debra Shulkes passed away on October 16, 2022. In honor of her memory, we preserve this playful bio note and photograph, both of which the poet created for Winning Writers after winning an Honorable Mention in our 2009 Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest. Debra Shulkes is a poet, editor and…
L. Rigdon
This poem was the result of undergraduate-research-burnout and 2 a.m.—because everything is funnier at 2 a.m. L. Rigdon is currently a freelance writer specializing in working her tail off and making a professional name for herself. She has been working on many projects for clients relating to nonfiction research articles…
John Poch
John Poch's third book, Dolls, will be published by Orchises Press in September 2009. He lives, with no cable or satellite dish, in Lubbock, Texas.
Rachel S. Neal
Rachel S. Neal began writing a few years ago when she took a career break as a physical therapist and picked up a pen. She can't seem to put the pen down and has been writing silly poetry along with more serious attempts at poetry, fiction, and non-fiction ever since.…
M.S. Sukumaran Nair
I am son of the late Mr. Sankarapillai and father of three children. Having a degree in commerce, I am working as a U.D. clerk in the Department of Health. Name of spouse is Mrs. Rajani Sukumaran. I am an Indian aged thirty eight. Write dramas and poems in English…
Johnson John
Post graduate in biology. I am a teacher, taking private tuition. Age 45. Forced bachelor. Living with mother. Engaged in literary activities mainly in Malayalam (the language of Kerala, India; perhaps the only language name that is palindrome). Published a collection of thirty poems, Nishashalabham (The Moth), in 2008 and…
Paul Hlava
Lenny Lianne
Lenny Lianne is the author of two full-length books of poems, A Wilderness of Riches: Voices of the Virginia Colony (ScriptWorks Press, 2008) and The Gospel According to the Seven Dwarfs (forthcoming from San Francisco Bay Press). She has a B.A. in History and an M.F.A. in Creative Writing from…
Louis K. Lowy
Louis K. Lowy, a retired firefighter, is a struggling husband and father, struggling Florida International University creative writing student, struggling musician, struggling filmmaker, and an accomplished struggler. He is the recipient of a State of Florida Individual Artist Fellowship. His work has appeared in Coral Living Magazine and The Florida…
Randy Cousteau
As the non-author of the imaginary book Psychopathia Sexualis in the Sea, Randy Cousteau—holder of the prestigious Tender Tentacles Grant from the Sensuous Cephalopod Institute—would like to assure his readers that cross-species felching occurs in the animal kingdom far more often than one might expect. He is pictured below, practicing…
T7 Test Landing Page
testing landing page
Landing Pages
Landing pages for the website.
Sneakerheads
In my fifth grade universe, you needed only three things to survive: yo mama jokes, a jump shot, and decent kicks. Rich Jamal had those beautiful black and red patent leather Jordan's, trim shimmering like puddles of night with each liquid step though the halls. Lanky Preston had the Penny's;…
Late Round and Boxer
LATE ROUND This clinch is preface to the final embrace of loss Even the winner knows, thirty-six minutes that make you less No matter how much leather you dish and eat. What's sweet About this science isn't confined to the sweat Whose salt rivers run you down Like rapids that…
Dee C. Konrad
A leading educator and published author, Mrs. Dee Konrad was Associate Professor in the English faculty of Barat College of DePaul University, and served as Dean of Liberal Arts and Sciences for the year 2000-2001.
John Reid
John Howard Reid, founder of the Tom Howard/John H. Reid Fiction & Essay Contest and the Tom Howard/Margaret Reid Poetry Contest, won first prizes and other awards in prestigious literary events. A former journalist and magazine editor, he published several historical novels, a collection of poetry, a guide to winning…
Contest Database
Contests from Winning Writers
A Police Action in Vietnam
The Voyeur Explodes
I shove my face inside your skin and wear you like a balloon. We lifted the top off of your Baghdad sky only to find barrage balloons hung still above the city like the swollen bodies of medieval criminals. We lifted you out of the spider hole and checked your…
Thinking of Oz
There was the rainbow, right over Peekskill, as I drove my daughter to dance class. The city Frank hated, his walks near the waterfront, to get away from the military academy, looking down at the yellow bricks set at sharp angles, the ballast ships left behind, heavy as that we…
Firework Elegy, First Snow
FIREWORK ELEGY Inside an olive sky, they huddled on quilts stretched over hills. They waited for the bright splashes thrown at the sky, the ways of speaking—light, spark, rise. He hated that this was home. For him, these holidays would be different, but they opened mouths, shouted to each blast,…
The Country of Your Garden
for Robert Despite everything, there you are again, deep in the humid thighs of July, propagating Eden, little by little as you walk, regal and measured, lip curled, hands clasped behind your back, through the hay strewn paths between raised beds, the blazing democracy of your garden flourishing beyond all…
Price
they circle, lattice of camaraderie pattern-worn like the lawn chairs cupping them close to earth. unready to test their strength on children grown and birthed in the space left by their absence, fingers curl around cans and bottles savoring what was out of reach. hours ago they stood taut while…
Nostra Donna del Cielo
NOSTRA DONNA DEL CIELO Sirens all night, but in the morning Mama still made us go to Mass. From down the hill we could see the spire was gone, smoke holding its place like phantom pain. We made our way over rock crumbled like cookies, over pages of song-books, scattered…
Abacus, Panic, The Eyes Open to a Cry
ABACUS How do I tell the woman who cleans my house the difference between knives? That the serrated are cheap, meant only for dining, the larger blades for husking flesh away from its bone, their finer edges to wait in phalanx at the wooden block. This luxury of sifting divisions…
Elegy for Soldier Who Returned Without A Voice From the War in Iraq
You came back from the war with a silence you did not understand, with a PTS other men in your corps felt. As I walk through the Wal-Mart now in Marble Falls, I think about the question, ask myself, What could you do after the fact of what was done…
The Revolution Is..., Lying on the Grass in Central Park with Mary Alice Under Military Planes Headed to Vietnam
THE REVOLUTION IS… That you showed up without an army, without concrete overtones; you stood here, one body under girth of girders, suspended between cities, held a cheese sandwich and a thermos of Turkish coffee, held my hand for only a moment and said, “On that side, Brooklyn, hammered out…
Ash-Shahid, Blank Verse for Army Recruitment Officer: New Orleans, The Armless Child
Ash-Shahid The Witness—One of the Ninety-Nine Names for Allah We forced them all back inside their house, then brought out a check for three hundred dollars. This in compensation for our killing their cows—target practice for mortar rounds. Then we brought in a small aquarium with bright blue gravel and…
The Casualties of War, A Soldier’s Making
The Casualties of War Mahmudiyah, Iraq for Abeer Qassim Hamza Al-Janabi (1992-2006) “We did not send a rapist and a murderer to Iraq” —The aunt of former U.S Soldier Steven Green to the U.S. District County jury at Steven Green's trial for rape and murder. He comes to you. You…
Guy You Want
The car breaks down but I don't because the tow-guy identified and dialed from inside the warm car seconds after some pin, valve, lever or whatnot failed is on his way. I wait, holding a hot cappuccino, watching the mirrors. The truck pulls in ahead of the car; he writes…
An Interrogation, San Miniato
An Interrogation When you sleep in the palace I count imaginary explosions When you wake between hours look out at sand become sky become an inverse of dark When you lace unlace your boots When I try to write this scene how unlikely When you see night sun spades across…
Almost Never
Almost never do the actual people call for war to come, to spill its graceless fire upon their own small towns, upon their own brown fields: The farmer hoeing backwards through his rows, his nose to the musty earth and the insects rising; The old tobacconist who nods in his…
The U.S. Invades Iraq, on American TV
Thumb the plastic bar molded to fit your palm, turn up the volume, Your nation will soon be free— George Bush on Iraqi TV's new Western broadcast, Nahwa Al-Hurieh, Toward Freedom, CNN's omniscient eye sweeping over palaces' shiny nude paintings, Fantasy art, the broadcaster declaims— channel skid and Jennifer Lopez…
Coals and Smoke, Titanium and Clay, Boomers
Coals and Smoke His hours are suckling pigs in his smoke-shack. He shovels hickory into the pit, manages its red eye, mixes vinegar with pepper, chops slaw, simmers collards. He likes vegetables—they have no faces—but meat is his gift, and numbers don't lie: three hundred diners a day, twice that…
No Applicable Regulations
Scorpions find whatever shade they can, wait out the day, sheltered from heat like a hammer in the manner of cold-blooded things. We find them under sandbags. We forget, sometimes, our gloves. Stick fingers in unguarded, welcome the sting, the fall, the one chance we ever get to shirk duties…
Mullaitivu, Sri Lanka 2009: The Road
War is an emblem, a hieroglyphic of all misery. —John Donne 1. A bad time came to us Don't stay here, they told us The crows also spoke Don't stay in this place, they said My husband took his tractor to transport the old ones Stay in the house, he…
Champions: Hebrews 1, Philistines 0
“And the Philistine cursed David by his god.” —First Book of Samuel, 17:43 Goliath, by cursing David, denies David's God, intending by this to rattle him, for he's a heckler. Yet he's also David's cousin, descended from Orpah, the sister of Ruth, three generations back. To the spectators, he's the…
Nita Ritzke
Nita K. Ritzke writes poetry and plays when not teaching literature or directing theatre as associate professor in the department of Language and Literature at University of Mary in Bismarck, ND. Ritzke earned her B.S.E. in English and Communication Arts from Minot State University, M.A. in Theatre from University of…
Reuven Goldfarb
Reuven Goldfarb writes poetry, essays, fictionalized memoir, and alternate reality fiction. He makes his home in Tzfat, a mountain village in northern Israel, where he hosts a monthly meeting of the Upper Galilee branch of Voices Israel and has begun teaching a course entitled “Formal Elements in Poetry”. From 2009-2012,…
Bill Duvall
Bill Duvall is a Baltimore native and retired federal employee living in North Carolina. He has a BS in Economics and an MFA in Writing (Poetry) from Vermont College of Fine Arts. He is a member of the North Carolina Poetry Society and the US Dramatists Guild. His poetry has…
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