The hitchhiking robot has been found dead
By Vernita Hall
beheaded and dismembered in Philadelphia, where the lifeless life form was discovered
in Olde City. The robot's followers were shocked and deeply saddened by the news.
A group calling itself "Nobots" has claimed responsibility. Their spokesperson, Dell E.
Terious, issued this statement:
It's about jobs. It's about humanity.
We call on all Americans to oppose
the raw evil of automation.
We've struck a blow for human independence.
No bots! No bots! No bots!
They've released a video of the execution, where hooded members, holding raised
Human rights activists have decried the killing. They've called the fringe crusaders
savages, expressing outrage that the grinning guest—benign, child-sized, and
helpless—was martyred in the cradle of liberty.
Still, the bot's creators have committed to continue their novel social experiment.
But Ms. Terious has cautioned more to come. Up next, a warning on the perils of
This is Mark Jeering, Ferret News. And that's the way it is.
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