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The Maine Review

Online quarterly publishes creative writers and artists from around the world

I said a slip, slop, The baby to the baby, To the slip, slip a slop, and you don't stop, or block it, To the poop-poop sewage, say, out pumps the sewage, Feel the rhythm of the movement, the heat. Now, what you smell is not the best— I'm parpin'…

Cleaning Up For the Guests

I don't know about y'all, But for the last 10 years or so The main times we would really Clean house was when we have Had company coming. A sad way to live, I know, But I suspect we're not alone. Not to make excuses, though. It always starts with…

The Sanitarian

He scrubbed his hands, and hoped this would protect him from disease. He wore bee-keeper's garb to ward off ticks, mosquitos, fleas. He ate organic foods to hold the pesticides at bay. He traveled after dark to keep the skin cancers away. He only touched his kids with latex gloves…

Cottage Cheese and STD’s

Welcome OBGYN “Just part your legs and we'll begin.” I stare into her smiling face as she prepares to raid my space. “I hope you practice safe, safe sex. Those STD's can be a vex.” Why wait until I get a pap to speak the dangers of The Clap? She…

Hampton Bay Progressive Wall Sconce

The quote on the Jolly Electric Company truck read Isaiah 1:18, and the inflamed-haired technician bounded from our doorstep. From upstairs I could hear him, steam roiling in a pot like a churning sea in a storm. For an hour, he clanked, twisted and tightened, and all the while he…

Unemployment

“How fine it feels, the perversity of freedom.” –E. Belieu It's real fine at first, sprawled out and floating on your River Rover in the neighborhood pool, shrugging off that picket-fence worry, Tuesday at noon, cold beer in your hand. Even when the morbidly obese third-graders, pink-bellied from summer vacation,…

Connor the Cunning Cartographer

There's an office away from the high street Where the ordinance survey resides And the walls there are painted with boredom Not a singular giggle abides But there's one room below, in the cellar Where Connor completes the new maps Adding green and blue spots and churches Putting pine trees…

I Always Hate Going In There

Nobody should be getting migraines from buying deodorant, but here I am: clenching my senses in agony amidst Wal-Mart's museum of aromatic push-pops, sporting a woefully agnostic disposition in the realm of olfactology. Everyone's got an opinion, just like everyone's got a nose. Who am I to assume that my…

Massive Metaphysical Twat

In metaphysical philosophy it isn't all that hard to see that all events are linked by common threads. A system of connection with a radial projection like a branch that infinitesimally spreads And that some fixed events in time within a given paradigm are bound together by causality and state…

Untitled (“I like to abbreve…”)

I like to abbreve Abbreves are spectac Abbreves contain the elems That other lit devices lack Abbreving has some rules For inst, syllables are import Words that have only one Aren't abbreved, but are already short When a word can't be abbreved Because its spelling is super comp The ending…

Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest 2014

Congratulations to the winners of our 2014 humor poetry contest!

What I Sometimes Think Other Poets’ Book Blurbs Must Say About Me

(A Found Poem) Her work reveals a poet unable to merge cultural experience with the personal, anger with redemption, or to expose tragedy as possibility. None of her experiences—a doctor's visit, a long-distance phone call, or the mayor's ban on front-porch upholstered couches—become an opportunity to explore our everyday lives.…

Reuben Steenson

Reuben Steenson is a graduate from Queen's University Belfast, where he studied English with Creative Writing. His final Creative Writing Poetry dissertation, A Brief History of the Art of Conversation, dealt with the topic of games and play, and received full marks. He is currently studying for his MA in…

Aubrey Sonnenschein

Aubrey Sonnenschein is an eighteen year old incoming freshman at the University of California Los Angeles. She sings and acts in her pastime, but plans to pursue criminology in accordance with neuroscience at college. Additionally, Aubrey enjoys writing short stories, poems, and personal analyses on worldly topics. She has gained…

Fred Longworth

Longworth never recovered from the dire influences of Mad Magazine back in the 1950's when Joe McCarthy personally stoked Mad bonfires. In 1969, having received a B.A. in English Literature (San Diego State University), then being told by Student Services that they would offer less than zero employment help to…

Alan Koban

I lived in Japan and hoboed around for close to 20 years and am now back in Memphis selling organic sourdough bread at local farmer's markets, with the occasional translating job thrown in on the side.

Ben Jones

Ben Jones is an English poet and writer. He lives in Yorkshire with his long term partner and their two children. When he's not annoying the former and avoiding the latter, he is usually found behind a keyboard, drowning in coffee and giggling through sleep deprivation.

Daniel Ferrara

Dan Ferrara is from Toms River, New Jersey. He studied creative writing at and received degrees from the University of North Carolina at Wilmington and Johns Hopkins University where he received outstanding graduate honors. His poems have appeared in 32 Poems, the Sewanee Theological Review, the Free State Review, Lines…

Ayanda Dorsey

Ayanda Dorsey is a writer, illustrator, and full-time dreamer. With a degree in English, she graduated Summa Cum Laude from Spelman College. She currently resides in Michigan. Despite the chill of Midwestern living, she finds great comfort in her life as a developing artist. She is currently working on two…

Janine Certo

Janine Certo's poems have appeared or are forthcoming in literary journals, magazines and anthologies including Burningword Literary Journal, Illya's Honey, Main Street Rag, Vox Poetica, Muddy River Poetry Review and The Endicott Review. She is associate professor of language and literacy at Michigan State University's College of Education. Her awards…

David Amerman

I could tell you about my undergraduate education at Penn State, my meager, failure-heavy publication track record, or my short-lived career as a journalist, but neither of these résumé benchmarks are fitting descriptions of myself as a meaningful citizen of the arts and humanity. Honestly, I am still very much…

Simon Hendrie

Simon Hendrie graduated from the University of Cape Town, majoring in Actuarial Science and Statistics. At Oxford University, as a Rhodes Scholar, he studied Philosophy, Politics and Social Policy, and won the Rex Warner Literary Prize. He has also had poetry published in the South African literary journal, New Contrast.…

Nancy Pagh

Nancy Pagh burst on to the literary scene as a teenager, publishing her first poem, “Is a Clam Clammy, Or Is It Just Wet?” in a local boating magazine. Since then she has authored two award-winning collections of poetry and one book of nonfiction and her work appears in many…